oh man, this needs a title?
Writing masterlist!

Hi team! Figured it was time to put a little fic info up here.

My AO3

My magnum opus, the paramedic Ronan and physician assistant Adam 90% sickfic AU is here and is a work in progress, with sporadic updates. My tag for it on here is medical career au and includes asks/prompts/wips/etc

Prompt fills are here ( and please know that if you’ve sent me ideas and I haven’t responded, it’s because it’s sitting in my ask box as a reminder/inspiration)

I love messaging with folks so feel free to say hi :)

teaboot:

If I can recommend you do 1 low-effort thing for the love of God it is this:

Keep 5 cards in your pocket. One will say “yes”, the second will say “no.”

If you lose your voice, or lose speech, or want to make a dramatic embellishment at the right time, it is an elegant and efficient solution that is right there at hand.

But what if people question you from there? “Why do you have that card? Why would you do this? How long have you had that in your pocket?” For this, or whatever else they say, the third card: “I don’t have a card for that.”

“What the fuck,” they ask. They laugh. They are bemused. You bring the energy back down with the fourth card: “I have laryngitis. I’ve lost speech. My throat hurts”. Whatever you expect to occur.

The joke is over. Rule of threes. Now they are curious. They wonder about logistics. “How did you know I would say that? Is everyone so predictable?”

As a three-part bit, nobody ever sees the fifth card coming.

“I have powerful wizard magics.”

Gets them every time

great-and-small:

Just found out my facebook birding group is public because my cousin (a lawyer who is not into birds) casually said to me “saw you couldn’t identify a willet the other day… pretty embarrassing”

preachersdaughterx:

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“the way Gansey saw it was this: if you had a special knack for finding things, it meant you owed the world to look.”

eastgaysian:

it literally is so funny when directors have their special little guy that they can’t go to work without

writing smut like

gayfour:

the-haiku-bot:

thisiswhymomworries:

3tno:

thisiswhymomworries:

how many synonyms for “penis” do I actually know?

and how many of those synonyms am I actually willing to use

tier 1 (most accepted, considered sexy): cock, dick

tier 2 (generally accepted): length, manhood, member, shaft

tier 3 (clinical, too formal, but not cheesy): groin, penis, phallus

tier 4 (cheesy, barely acceptable): [insert name] Jr., dong, junk, knob, prick, rod, tool, wand, wood

tier 5 (ridiculous, unacceptable, pls don’t): anything to do with beer cans, baby-maker, bishop, choad, donger, dragon, fuck wand, fun stick, hog, johnson, jimmy, lap rocket, little [insert name], love muscle/rod/stick, meat stick, one-eyed [anything], piston, private eye, schlong, trouser snake, wiener, winkie

tier 6 (you’re literally a fourth grader): baby arm, baloney pony, beaver basher, beef whistle, custard launcher, dude piston, flesh flute, heat-seeking moisture missile, krull the warrior king, luigi, mayo shooting hotdog gun, meter long king kong dong, pig skin bus, piss weasle, purple-headed yogurt flinger, purple-helmeted warrior of love, schlong dongadoodle, single barreled pump action bollock, spawn hammer, steamin’ semen truck, tan banana, thundersword, wang doodle, whoopie stick, wing wang doodle, yogurt shotgun 

tier 3 (clinical,

too formal, but not cheesy):

groin, penis, phallus

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

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sabertoothwalrus:

birbologist:

my wife, upon learning that pubes can be straight: Thats not bush,,, thats just grass

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sharksliveontrains:

at some point in life you realize the best way to solve a love triangle is to make them polyamorous and you never look back

AITA for telling my son his parents' lovestory?

I (20M) met "my" (its complicated) son (21M) recently after his mother(42F) shot him. Since his father passed away several years ago, he'd been having trouble understanding his parents' reasons for "abandoning" him and his brothers (19M, 17M). In order to help him, I let him access a first-person VR record of his parents' memories, from his birth to his early years. Now I should say that giving me these memories means that his biological father didn't have them and therefore "didn't treat him like a son" (allegedly) because he "didnt remember his birth" (true).

Regardless I think I made a wise decision by showing my son his parents before their divorce (there was some sexual content in there) (I mean, they were married) (it was relevant to the information). After seeing these memories he was very happy to know his parents did in fact love him prior to giving up their memories.

However I am being told that this "made him insane" or "gave him severe trauma" or "ruined his grieving process" and I disagree because he is very happy now and we are all a big family and I will attend his wedding soon as it is being held at my (used to be his) house. AITA?

Anonymous

northstrz:

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adam parrish, army of one

aromantic-diaries:

I’m all for very specific microlabels but also I just love how broad the term ‘asexual’ is. Lol my personal relationship with my sexuality is slightly more complicated but guess what motherfucker that’s my business. I’m asexual. I sleep alone

tsunflowers:

tsunflowers:

I feel bad for people who’ve never experienced a corn maze bc it’s not even fun but you just have to do it

I’d like to reblog this with some tags and comments bc I’ve really appreciated reading them

people who get what I mean:

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people who have found a way to have fun in the corn maze but who I’m a little worried about:

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person who we are going to put in the corn:

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bakelite-bliss:

nemesisdub:

officialfist:

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OUR COUSIN MADE IT TO THE NFL

This your cousin? What team is he in?

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Our cousin